As I think any married couple would agree, marriage is a Life’s Work. It is a constantly growing and changing spiritual art-form. Your beloved serves as a perfect mirror for you And, like any mirror, sometimes the reflection of yourself that you see is a lot more fun to look at than others! And yet, if we gaze with loving intention, and a desire to see the Truth about ourselves and our partner, this “marriage mirror” provides an unparalleled opportunity for spiritual growth and unfoldment.
In the process, though, it’s not always easy. So the ability to maintain a sense of perspective, and a sense of humor, becomes essential! And speaking of a sense of humor, I believe that the Divine Spirit has quite a sense of humor.
A perfect example of this occurred recently as I was working on the ceremony for a young couple, Christina and Lazzaro, who are very dear to me. I was to officiate their wedding in a few days, and Christina had sent me the words – in Spanish – of the beautiful prayer that she and Lazzaro were to speak in the bi-lingual ceremony. Given that my understanding of Spanish is minimal, I did what we all do these days if we need to know something: I googled it.
Well, the Google God of Translation definitely has a sense of humor, because the last line of their beautiful prayer was translated thusly:
“Help us to see and learn about laundry divine, that exists at all…. and keep alive this truth today and forever.”
I laughed. A lot. And I thought, “How perfect – to pray that you may forever recognize and learn about “Divine Laundry.”
Because this is really what marriage boils down to, isn’t it? Sure, there are the luscious moments of romance and energetic attraction, times of great adventure and peak experiences– but mostly, marriage is about – life is about – finding the Divine in EVERYTHING – including dirty laundry!
There’s a Zen saying, “Before enlightenment, chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment, chop wood, carry water.” The same actions, and yet it’s an entirely different experience, depending on your state of awareness.
It’s through the millions of mundane choices we make – through the thoughts we hold, the words we choose to speak – or not speak – the simple actions wecarry out every day, that we have the opportunity to move ever closer to enlightenment...to become ever purer Beings of Light.
Yes, marriage is a life’s work. It is a commitment that carries both profound joy and great responsibility.
Marriage is the physical, emotional and spiritual union of two beings, two individuals who willingly choose to keep re-discovering who they are in the presence of one another.
A wedding celebration affords an opportunity not only for the bride and groom, but for each of us to reflect on who we are, and what we’re all doing here...here, on this planet.
I believe we are here to learn what it really means to love, as an active daily principle. We are learning to choose love over fear. Compassion over judgment. To choose that which unites rather than that which divides.
In closing, the essence of the blessing I spoke to the bride and groom is the same blessing I wish for you:
May you constantly be aware of these moments of choice. In your marriage, and in all relationships, may you be a willing and loving catalyst for one another’s individual growth and spiritual transformation.
May your life always be blessed with patience, kindness, compassion, respect, and unconditional love, and may your capacity to love continue to expand and deepen with every passing day.